"When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen."
…Ernest Hemingway, American novelist, writer and journalist
You already know to listen. But do you truly know how — it’s the one skill that separates extraordinary friends from ordinary friends and exceptional employees from average employees. For listening isn’t simply done with your ears — it takes your eyes, your body language, your mind, and your heart. You see, great listeners absorb the other person’s thoughts and feelings and empathize with the person’s situation. Rather than simply hearing the words, you need to hear their purpose.
Most people are too busy thinking about what they are going to say next, to really listen, really care or learn something.
But as the old saying goes… “God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason.”
Somebody might have told the rude crew ofThe View that… When you are too busy talking yourself to hear or learn anything and too self-righteous or have so totally made up your mind to even let your guest finish a sentence… that you don’t need a guest on at all. I guess they are confused and think talk show means: only they talk… and only their views are allowed?
And then there is Oprah… the talk show Queen who professes the empowerment of women but won’t even have Republican Vice Presidential Sarah Palin on her show?
I guess this tells us a lot about all these women!
John McCain appeared on “The View.” (Photo: Steve Fenn/Reuters, via ABC)
Senator John McCain bounded onto the set of “The View” this morning, perhaps expecting a fun session chatting with the ladies about the softer side of his presidential campaign.
But once he settled onto the couch, he got a pretty good grilling — on earmarks, on his erstwhile image as a “maverick” and, of course, about his running mate, Gov. Sarah Palin. He also defended his ads against Senator Barack Obama, saying “they are not lies,” and his wife, Cindy, who appeared later, declined to answer a question about how many houses the McCains own.
Mr. McCain also had some kind words for Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, who may have been the first choice for president among many viewers of “The View.” The show is watched by 3.4 million people, according to Nielsen, 78 percent of whom are women and whose median age is 56 years old.
A visit to “The View” is becoming a rite of passage for candidates as they try to shore up their appeal among women (Mr. McCain also taped a segment today for the Rachael Ray show.)
Anyway, Ms. Walters led off the questioning of Mr. McCain, and right away set the tone for the rest of the interview.
It was not the questions... It was the lack of listening, the rudeness and what seemed like disinterest of the ladies of 'The View' in what McCain had to say! They took turns asking questions and then rudely interrupting him before he could fully respond.
She first asked Mr. McCain to defend his earlier statement that Ms. Palin was “the greatest vice presidential candidate in the history of the United States.” Was he perhaps overlooking John Adams or George H.W. Bush?
“We politicians are never given to exaggeration,” Mr. McCain began with a smile, but then turned more serious. “The fact is,” he said, “I think she’s a great person, she’s a great governor, she’s the most popular governor in America, she understands the energy issues.” (That phrase about being the most popular governor refers to her approval ratings in Alaska, which have consistently been quite high, including a poll in July that put her approval rating at 80 percent.)
Ms. Walters also noted that Mr. McCain and Ms. Palin have said that her job will be to reform Washington. But, she pointed out, Mr. McCain has been in Congress for 22 years, the Republicans have been in the White House for eight years, so who, exactly, is Ms. Palin going to reform?
“The Democrats have been in charge of both houses for the last two years,” Mr. McCain replied.
Pressed, he added: “The Republicans, the Democrat party, even the independents. She’ll reform all of Washington.”
How?
“By doing what she did in Alaska.”
What, exactly?
“First of all, earmark spending, which she vetoed a half a billion dollars worth in the state of Alaska.”
But she also put earmarks in, Ms. Walters noted.
“Not as governor she didn’t,” Mr. McCain said.
But as governor, she did. As the Anchorage Daily News, among others, has reported, in Ms. Palin’s first year as governor, she requested 52 earmarks valued at $256 million, and this year, her office asked the Alaska delegation in Washington to help land 31 earmarks valued at $197 million. Also, Citizens Against Government Waste ranks Alaska as having received the “most pork per capita” of all states this year.
Barbara Walters with John and Cindy McCain. (Photo: Steve Fenn/Reuters, via ABC) Mr. McCain went on to say that Ms. Palin was “a reform governor,” had taken on and beat the incumbent governor of her own party, “she sold the plane, she fired the chef.”
Ms. Walters noted that she sold the plane at a loss.
“You wanted her to keep it?” Mr. McCain asked.
“No,” said Ms. Walters, “I wanted her to get her money back.”
Mr. McCain said that Ms. Palin “freed Alaska for the first time,” saying she “took government out of the hands of the special interests and the oil companies and the old-boy network and gave it back to the people of Alaska” and “that’s what we have to do in Washington.”
But what exactly will she do?
“The same thing,” Mr. McCain replied. “Break the old-boy network, the special interests that control our agenda in Washington.”
After that exchange, Joy Behar lamented to Mr. McCain that he used to be more of a “maverick” but now he’s in “lockstep” with the Republican Party and President Bush’s policies.
“I don’t see the old John McCain that used to really buck the system as much,” she said, then kind of undercut her own question by adding, “and I understand why — you want to get elected.” The audience applauded and Mr. McCain smiled.
“I’m the same person, and I have the same principles, and I have the same issues,” he said. “I’m the same guy.”
Ms. Behar brought up two of his recent ads against Mr. Obama, one suggesting that when Mr. Obama had used a colloquial expression about putting “lipstick on a pig,” he was referring to Ms. Palin and the other suggesting that Mr. Obama wanted sex education for children. “We know those two ads are untrue, they’re lies,” she said, and yet at the end of each, Mr. McCain’s voice says he approves of those messages.
“They are not lies,” Mr. McCain said. “And if you’ve seen some of the ads that are running against me…”
The conversation broke off in cross-talk, and Mr. McCain then rejoined to say that Mr. Obama “chooses his words very carefully and he shouldn’t have said it.”
He added: “This is a tough campaign.” He also said that if Mr. Obama had agreed to go around the country with him and do town-hall meetings together, the campaign would have a more elevated tone.
On the topic of abortion, Mr. McCain said that Roe v. Wade, which legalized abortion in 1973, was “a very bad decision.” He said he would not impose a litmus test on any of his nominations to the Supreme Court “because that’s not fair to the American people.” But, he said, he would nominate justices who would interpret the constitution as it was written and not legislate from the bench.
This prompted Whoopi Goldberg to worry that if he wanted to return to the constitution as it was written, and not as it was amended, she would be returned to slavery.
“I understand your point,” Mr. McCain said, as Ms. Goldberg theatrically fanned herself as if recovering from a big scare. “An excellent point.”
He then said that while he is “pro-life” because he believes that life begins at conception, “I also respect the views of those who don’t.”
That prompted Ms. Walters to ask, “So, you believe in choice?” but before he could answer, they all agreed to move on to other topics.
Shortly thereafter, Cindy McCain, the candidate’s wife, arrived on the set. She was asked if she agreed with Ms. Palin that there should be no exceptions for abortions, even in cases of rape and incest. (Ms. Palin has indicated that she would allow an exception only if the mother’s life were at stake.)
“We disagree on that issue,” Mrs. McCain said.
So, there are exceptions? “Yes,” Mrs. McCain said, adding, “John and I agree on this issue.” Mr. McCain has said he favors exceptions for rape and incest and to save the life of the mother.
Mr. McCain swooped in at this uncomfortable moment for his wife and said he would appoint all kinds of people to his administration, including Democrats. Asked if that included Mrs. Clinton, he took the opportunity to pay homage.
“I know that she wants to stay in the Senate, but I will work with Hillary Clinton because I’ve worked with her in the past, we’ve traveled together, Barbara, you know that, we have a working relationship that’s of mutual respect and frankly, appreciation,” he said. As she comes back to the Senate, he said, “she will be one of the most influential and powerful members of the Senate. You got to work together.”
This brought a big round of applause.
Then it was quickly back to the meat grinder, with Ms. Walters asking Mrs. McCain how many houses she owned.
Mrs. McCain didn’t answer that question.
“You know something, that’s not part of this campaign,” Mrs. McCain replied. “We’re fortunate enough to come from a family, particularly my dad and mom, who worked very hard to give me the best that they could and we are fortunate to be able to live a good life and share and give to other people who are not so fortunate.”
This too won a big round of applause.
ILLUSTRATION BY JOE CIARDIELLO FOR USN&WR 
