Life is a blessing. I sometimes buy a lottery ticket, when the jackpot is enormous~ ;-)
By Ari Bussel Saturday, February 13, 2010 - CFP
The future is anchored in the past. Growth is fed by family values, honesty, integrity and always stepping back to look at the bigger picture, putting oneself in the shoes of another, asking: Am I behaving the way I would want to be treated? A momentary immense anger can dissipate into nothing if we only evaluate the situation and ask ourselves: Why are we angry? What is it we are fighting? Is it worth our energy and emotions?
Life is a blessing. I sometimes buy a lottery ticket, when the jackpot is enormous. My mother says that one only needs one winning ticket, so I do not buy more than one. I persuade myself a few cents of that dollar go to our schools, although this is not even a lukewarm excuse for indulging a lottery ticket. Then I have the feeling that the ticket I bought is the winning one. The following morning I will only have to drive and claim the winning jackpot.
I wake the next morning, before knowing if I won the jackpot, and I seem to be negotiating with myself: What will I do with all the money left after Uncle Sam takes his share?
Time and time again my discussion turns out the same way: I start thinking, what am I missing today? Will I eat out more often? Will I fly in a higher class of service or stay at better hotels? Will this make any difference? Will I be a stronger, smarter, better person? Without fail, I always conclude that I am blessed beyond realization. Yes, it will obviously be nice to have a disgustingly large amount of money in my bank account. Will the tellers treat me differently? They will not – we already have a very good relationship – they can do nothing and I stopped expecting. Will I be able to do anything faster, more efficiently or differently? Probably not. Will I be protected against a bank failure? Not over the Federal limits.
So I continue in my chess game with myself, moving yet another piece – with a lot of money, much good can be done. To which the other side immediately moves its own piece, reminding me what I already know: Throwing a lot of good money into something is never the solution. On the contrary, the easier the money flows in, the lesser the appreciation, and the effectiveness of each additional dollar is often dramatically reduced. We think we are owed, we deserve what we have and get and we forget to be good human beings.
We all know the saying that a person cannot take his bank account with him to the after life, nor can she take her jewelry or art collection. I have known many very wealthy individuals who suddenly became old, ill or very old, and could not control basic activities. They become dependent on others. They lost their independence. Did the money make much of a difference? It allowed them care around the clock, hired helped and better accommodations. But the dignity only remains when you are treated as a human being, as a friend, as someone special. None of this can be bought by money. It is earned, coming as a result of remembering to be a good human being throughout your life. Only then do others remember, treat you as you once were, not the shadow you have become.
More recently we were taught another lesson: Even those with immense wealth can lose it. The stock market crashes, Madoff’s Ponzi scheme sees the light of day, an investment bank goes under, and the list goes on and on. Often with no control over life’s unexpected turns, one can find oneself with what one knew to be secure wealth dissipating and nothing remaining (in the good case) or debt replacing the previous positive balances.
I live a simple life, and when the market crashed I did not lose my pants since I did not gamble in the marketplace before. Unlike many others, who would go early every morning to trade, I did not. I thus did not make enormous amounts of money (any in fact), nor did I lose any. I was risk-averse, or simply did not have the money to play around. Life was not boring – before or after the crash.
I live a simple life, and I often find beauty in things that others view mundane. A smile at a time I am hurting. An extended hand when I can use help. I am surrounded by friends who act exactly that way, giving without any pretense or expectation. I can trust them and not be afraid because I know that ulterior motives, egos, personalities or considerations do not enter the equation. When they call and ask me if I can join them in an hour, I do not ask why they didn’t call sooner. I take what I get and give thanks. I am delighted to be extended the opportunity in the first place. When they tell me they are about to move, I show up to help.
Friends. Friendship. Trust. Honesty. Do we always behave the way we would expect others to behave toward us? As I attempt to cross the street, ten seconds remaining, a lady in a Mercedes and a blue placard turns left into the cross walk. She could have waited another few seconds (not to mention she is required to do so by law). Instead she was angry with me. How dare I interrupt her drive! At another crosswalk, someone almost ran me over, although those who have seen me know that I am quite tall and cannot be missed.
Earlier this week we were invited to hear a foreign diplomat speak at a Church. We braved the hour drive each way and arrived an hour early due to security considerations. We decided to precede the event with lunch. Although there are many restaurants in this upscale neighborhood, we chose the Bookstore and Café at the Church. Since they hosted the event, we wanted to reciprocate and spend some money there as well.
When I walked in, I felt I had gone back in time. My mother often remarks nostalgically about life in America some decades ago. Things were simpler and people were nicer. Neighbors extended a hand, kept an eye on the kids when you rushed your wife in labor to the hospital. Bringing over a cake or inviting the neighbor for barbeque – were commonplace. People were not in a rush as they are today. Life was quieter, no air-conditioning, one car, one black and white TV, one telephone line. Things were not disposable (from diapers to furniture to spouses). They stayed together, as my parents for almost 50 years now.
People used to walk, there was appreciation of our Country, Flag, Pledge of Allegiance. Challenges were plenty, but people found the time to be with their kids, to travel and see this great country. People connected with their maker, and attendance at a Church (or for us at a Synagogue) was a regular family event.
There was no sense of entitlement. Instead, there was personal responsibility. You had to work hard and make your way in life. You studied (and worked at the same time, yes, no one paid for school), you raised your kids and did not give them everything they saw in the window front. You were responsible for your actions, for raising a family, for doing something extra – for another person, at Church, for the community or your Country.
As we stepped into the Café I recalled my mother’s nostalgia. We stood and debated our order. Not only were we greeted with a smile and a thanks (think about it – someone happy you are there to bring business!) he even helped us make our choices. Changes? Not a problem! Please be seated, we will bring the food to the table. Remember the days when full service at a gas station did not cost more, and you were greeted with a smile?
Once we were unafraid someone would steal our wallet or our identity, if we left the car unlocked, the front door ajar – all these simple things, conveniences of life that brighten our day, one less thing to worry about.
As we converged on the registration tables, people did not shove others aside, or rush ahead in line. Somehow everyone managed to present a picture ID, get registered, receive a nametag and proceed to the next line. Inside, past the security check, sitting did not cause a rancor: whether you were seated in one table or another, you still saw the stage, could hear the speaker and find good company around you.
I am smiling as I am thinking of gala dinners here in Beverly Hills for various non-profit organizations. I do not want to sit next to her, my wife cannot sit here when my mistress is in the next table or why are they sitting two feet closer than we are? Did we not pay enough? This petty bickering is all too familiar to event organizers. And who is complaining? Sadly, it is usually those extremely rich and spoiled.
The simple things in life – not one pastor argued about seating arrangements. On the contrary, they stood up and introduced themselves, shaking the hands of those around the table. Everyone in the audience was equally as important as everyone else. Then they said a prayer, a blessing, giving thanks.
It was a pleasure to be reminded that if we expect little, we may find much. We can discover hidden treasures not measured in dollars, the size or weight of jewelry, or the brand name printed on the handbag, the tie or the coat. Indeed, I may not be walking in a $500 pair of shoes or wearing a $200 tie, but I still can walk and find a tie I like. I am surrounded with family and friends, we appreciate the health we are given, enjoy the ability to see the sunrise in the morning, smell the citrus trees blossoming, feel the abundant rain unlike previous winters in Los Angeles and smile with happiness filling us inside and out.
Celebrate life! You will discover there is always so much to enjoy and be grateful for.
Sometimes, especially those of us who were given both the blessing and the burden of really seeing what is going on around us, need to remember that life is a blessing and a gift and that in-between “the fight” and getting prepared for the worst while hoping for the best we must be reminded not to forget to live! Enjoy the special moments when they come along: take a few moments to smell the flowers or watch the sunrise or sunset each day; enjoy the family and friends that you are fighting so hard to save the future of America for; watch the Olympics even if they are on NBC and cheer for the USA, the underdogs, our great neighbors the Canadians or an athlete from the Country of your ancestry; and fight on out of love and purpose, not fear or necessity. The more you take part in life, the more opportunity you will have to share what you know and have learned!! Ask Marion~
